Understanding Laura

I am a crunchy oddball with too many ideas and too little time. Do you get me now?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Every village has one

I'm at the gym, I'm on an elliptical trainer, I set the timer for 35 minutes.

I've been on for 4 minutes when an older gentleman approaches me. I politely remove my headphones, expecting a quick comment on the weather or some such other quip, but I have another thing coming.

I have 31 minutes left on my timer when this guy starts talking about fat cells, and cholesterol, and calories, and weight loss plans, and muscle, and on and on!!!

Thirty one minutes later, I'm getting off the machine while he continues to droan on about how long he likes to workout for and how I need more calories because I'm in shape and a whole bunch of useless crap. At this point, I'm more than peeved because I've missed 31 precious minutes with Betty (My new iPod!).

I continue to smile and politely respond in monosyllables. While I do my post-workout stretches, I keep saying "Well, it was nice talking to you (insert name here.) I think I'll go work on my calves now." I was hoping to get the point across that I was finished shooting the breeze with him and at the same time direct him toward the track so I could make a break for the weight room.

It works! Success! Finally!

Moments later, I'm happily settled down with Betty on a yoga mat, doing crunches. I glance up at the ceiling and there he is!!! He just picks up where he left off!! He continues to talk even though it's clear that Betty and I are in a groove. Once more, my accepting-of-the-social-outcasts gene kicks in and I REMOVE MY HEADPHONES! Will I never learn?

Calories, fat count, fiber, carbohydrates, blah blah blah blah BLAH!!!

And this is the part I'm ashamed of, I point at Betty and say "Ok (insert name), that's nice."

Betty and I are reunited.

In my defense, I tried to politely bow my way out the conversation more than once!

I know, I'm terribly rude. But he was weird and old and wouldn't stop talking!

And I'm not the only one who's space has been violated! Apparently everyone has had a run-in at one point or another with talks-for-inappropriate-amounts-of-time-about-nothing-of-consequence guy.

Poor guy. I'm sure he's just lonely, but I go to the gym to workout, not to hear lectures! Phaw!

The end

Weight Loss Count: 17.0 lbs.
Inches Lost: 11.75


  • At 5:48 AM, Blogger Emily Kate said…

    Talks-for-inappropriate-amounts-of-time-about-nothing-of-consequence guy has a long name! Can we just call him Talkie McTalkerson? I'm sorry to hear about this run in. I often feel the same way if I run into someone on campus that I'm obligated to sit next to and talk to in the library or walk home from campus with and then I don't get to listen to my ipod. That's my sanctuary! It's my sanity! It keeps me somewhat nice! I'm sorry you had that stolen from you. But it's time to become an ipod brat and do a nice little smile and nod when someone tries talking to you, and just pretend you can't hear em and keep on ipodding!

  • At 9:58 PM, Blogger Suzie Petunia said…

    I'm not making this up...

    Ok, so I wasn't exactly "Talkie McTalkerson", but tonight I got up the courage to say something to this older guy who RACES on the eliptical like a mad man for absurd amounts of time! Sometimes I sneak a peak at his number of strides and feel very tired for him. He rides at about 300 steps per minute! So tonight I couldn't walk by without saying, "How long can you go?" He lied and said "40 minutes". I've seem him go for over an hour many times! There. There is my story about talking to a stranger at the gym.

    And I think you should have put your headphones back on WAY earlier than you did. You know he's just going to try again!

  • At 1:06 AM, Blogger BusyMaMa said…

    Maybe I was a little too forgiving... I have a soft spot for social outcasts and this particular guy fit the bill.

    He was just so kooky, I admired his tenacity in approaching a stranger.

    The admiration wore off quickly and I've learned my lesson.

    I'll never stick my finger in THAT socket again!


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